Five Types of Parenting Styles, Explained

types of parenting styles

While there’s no one right way to parent, researchers have been studying different parenting styles and the effects they have on kids for years. Many of these were first studied and described by psychologist Diana Baumrind, who observed preschoolers and found there were three types of parents: authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive. (A fourth style, neglectful parenting, was added to address severely uninvolved parents, which we don’t discuss below.) Since then, though, others have come along and carved out their own parenting styles that have developed massive cult followings. Attachment parenting, which starts from birth, and free-range parenting, for older kids, each have vocal, devoted followers, even though their approaches may seem at first to be opposite. Here, take a look at the attributes of each style, and see which one describes you best.This content is imported from {embed-name}. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.https://riddler.hearstgames.com/dist/polls.iframe.html?adsfree=false&id=10e394b6-6caf-4667-9ffd-1d365b75e05b_5ec1e4a385db6&type=text&question=What%20best%20describes%20your%20situation%3F&answer1=I%27m%20a%20working%20parent.&answer2=I%20do%20childcare%20full-time.&brand=Good%20Housekeeping&siteId=8342522f-11a7-4c85-8c15-51f36ee1d53f&adCategory=family&section=Life&subSection=Parenting%20Tips%20%26%20Advice&editor=Marisa%20LaScala&authors=Marisa%20LaScala&site=Good%20Housekeeping&stylesheet=https%3A%2F%2Fassets.hearstapps.com%2Fsites%2Fgoodhousekeeping%2Fassets%2Fcss%2Fpolls.4603d26.css

Authoritative Parenting: A highly involved style that has great results for kids.

  • These parents set high standards for their kids, but also give them lots of guidance to help achieve those standards.
  • Parents are likely to use techniques like positive discipline instead of strict, my-way-or-the-higway rules.
  • Studies show that kids raised in this way often do well socially and academically.

 MORE ON THIS STYLEWhat Is Authoritative Parenting?Advertisement – Continue Reading Belowhttps://4a48d1b32b665391270dfc712183360d.safeframe.googlesyndication.com/safeframe/1-0-38/html/container.html

The most successful of the parenting styles identified by Dr. Baumrind, authoritative parenting is characterized by “high demands” but also “high responsiveness.” That means parents have big (but still age-appropriate) expectations for their kids, and they stay attuned to their kids’ needs and help them meet those expectations. This way, kids know what’s required of them and feel confident they can comply. As a result, “Research consistently demonstrates that the children of authoritative parents are more likely to enjoy positive relationships with their peers, to do well in school, and to become independent and self-sufficient than children whose parents take an authoritarian, permissive, or neglectful approach,” says Lisa Damour, Ph.D., author of Under Pressure.

Permissive Parenting: Staying out of kids’ way does not help them figure things out on their own.

  • Permissive parents do not enforce rules for their kids. The stereotypical permissive parents are the ones who see themselves as their children’s friend, and not a figure of authority.
  • Kids of permissive parents are more likely to do poorly in school, and there are poor social and emotional consequences as well.
  • Permissive parents are not the same thing as neglectful parents. Permissive parents are still loving and responsive to their children’s needs. Neglectful parents also provide no structure ore rules, but they’re also totally uninvolved in other aspects of the child’s life. Permissive parents are involved, but not in a traditional way.

 MORE ON THIS STYLEWhat Is Permissive Parenting?

“Permissive parents have a hard time setting limits with their children,” says Laura Markham, Ph.D., author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids. “Therefore, parents are more likely to ignore bad behavior, and to ‘give in’ against their better judgment when their child gets upset. The result is that they don’t set or enforce age-appropriate expectations for behavior.” It may seem like this type of parenting style could foster independence, since children likely have to learn for themselves without the guidance of their parents. But studies show the opposite is true, and kids of permissive parents are more likely to show signs of anxiety and depression, be aggressive, have bad social skills, and do poorly in school.

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Permissive parents are still warm and loving around their children. Neglectful parents shirk rules, but also are uninterested in their children’s lives. The outcome for these children are often very bad. Children “internalize the pain and loneliness,” Psychology Today reports. “Adults who were neglected can have symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder and significant trauma to resolve. If there was a lack of emotional attachment in childhood, this also affects relationships later in life and can make it difficult to trust others.”

Authoritarian Parenting: Strict rules are hard to follow if you don’t offer any guidance.

  • Like authoritative parenting, authoritarian parents have high expectations, but authoritative parents are less nurturing.
  • Authoritarian parents are also more likely to resort to harsh punishments.
  • Studies show authoritarian parenting can lead to behavior problems.

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The last of Dr. Baumrind’s parenting styles, authoritarian parenting, can be characterized by both “high demands” and “low responsiveness.” This means these parents focus on strict rules and harsh discipline. “Authoritarian parents believe that children are, by nature, strong-willed and self-indulgent,” Psychology Today notes. “They value obedience to higher authority as a virtue unto itself. Authoritarian parents see their primary job to be bending the will of the child to that of authority.” However, the lack of the guidance offered by authoritarian parents takes a toll. “The children of authoritarian parents, however, tend to be somewhat more depressed and have lower self-esteem than those of authoritative parents,” Psychology Today writes. There are also studies that show these kids are more likely to become bullies, too.

Attachment Parenting: Closeness fosters a strong family connection.

Attachment Parenting International (API) has identified eight principles, or parenting practices, that it believes will help the child develop secure bonds between children and their parents:

  • Preparing for pregnancy, birth, and parenthood
  • Feeding with love and respect
  • Responding with sensitivity (especially when a parent hears the baby cry)
  • Using nurturing touch and physical contact (including baby-wearing)
  • Ensuring safe sleep, physically and emotionally
  • Providing consistent love and care
  • Practicing positive discipline
  • Striving for balance between personal and family life

 MORE ON THIS STYLEWhat Is Attachment Parenting? Experts Explain

Not observed by Dr. Diana Baumrind, this parenting style was popularized by Bill Sears, M.D., and his wife Martha Sears, R.N. Dr. Sears, who found benefits of a close bond between parents and babies. They claim that babies of attachment parents cry less and have fewer behavior problems, freeing up more time to grow, learn, and develop. However, some experts believe the same results can be achieved without adhering so strictly to API’s principles. “A large body of research has shown over many decades that most parents — 70% to 80% of them — are forming secure attachments with their children, regardless of factors like breastfeeding or baby-wearing,” says Emily Edlynn, Ph.D.

Free-range Parenting: Encourage independence, so long as you follow the law.

  • Free-range parenting encourages kids to become independent by letting them have greater autonomy and less supervision in other areas of life.
  • It is different from permissive parenting, because rules and expectations are still enforced in general.
  • Free-range parents have to be aware of the laws that govern their state.

 MORE ON THIS STYLEWhat Is Free-Range Parenting?

The term “free-range parenting” was coined by Lenore Skenazy, who famously let her 9-year-old son find his way home on the New York City subway system alone. The important thing here is that, like in the Skenazy family’s mass-transit outing, greater autonomy is allowed in certain situations — it’s not a total abdication of oversight. “Free-range parenting emphasizes the child’s functioning independently with judicious parental supervision,” says says Dr. Kyle Pruett, M.D., Clinical Professor of Child Psychiatry at Yale School of Medicine and member of the Educational Advisory Board at the Goddard School. “It permits enough exploration for kids to come up against limits naturally.” In that way, it is closer to authoritative parenting than permissive parenting, since parents help guide their children through their independent experiences (like sitting down beforehand talking about what to do if the subway system becomes too confusing, in Skenazy’s case). One big caveat for free-range parents, though, is that states have widely different laws and statutes about the ages kids have to be before they’re allowed to be unsupervised, at home or in a car. The website FreeRangeKids.com, founded by Skenazy, helps keep track of these laws.